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She'll sing you the songs you like

I'll never be able to get over the way we look at each other

He said you don't have to go so I said I should go but I didn't mean it because it was the first time in over two weeks we had hugged and it was one of those hugs that's too long (too long in that it's dangerous, loaded, a narrow road that leads to nudity and debauchery, which is what the whole thing was kind of about in the first place and has made it so hard to move forward with another pace.) And so he said it again, this time in a whisper - you can stay here tonight - and I said it too, also in a whisper - but I really should go - and I did (and I still don't know why). And the entire drive home I couldn't stop thinking about his scent, familiar and so strong I could cry.

Photo by Lina Scheynius

This is not a metaphor

If you saw the bruises
and the bites
on my body
you'd think I slept with the devil
& I did

last night
              I was seduced by the devil

he brought me to his layer
took off my clothes
one piece at a time
slowly
vigorously

& I drank his blood
as he moved
inside me
drunk
off his sweat
*as he memorized the curves of my body

last night
             i was seduced by the devil
but the devil 
                    fell   
                         in
                            love

New groove

These were all taken at my house. Pretty spectacular, eh?

So;
I've been re-evaluating some aspects & people in my life. I also think my new turquoise wall color is heavily affecting me. They may or may not be correlated. Either way, it's definitely a positive change I'm making. I'll let you know more about it when I finish figuring out what the hell I'm talking about.

I want it all

Life has been exciting lately; I've been occupying my time well. River trips, beach trips, shows, getting together with friends & playing music, and bike rides galore. Oh, and of course working; making the necessary $$ for my survival.

Unfortunately,

I have been slacking on the picture taking lately. I've been running around faster than my logical mind can keep up with. Remembering to bring my camera along for the fun has been difficult. 

Photographs by Richard Avedon, a true inspiration to me. 

The times they are a changin'

Oyster Festival

(A day filled with drunk-folk on the plaza and eating a plethora of oysters & fish tacos.

Oh! And then catering to the needs of those who couldn't get enough at the festival and decided they'd like to drink & eat More oysters at Folie Douce [my work, real fancy shmancy restaurant])

Photobooth fun the night before at the Beat Farm!

& moi before Oyster Fest

I says I haven't got the time time

I have been living and partying like a rock star lately; going to shows every night/ hanging out with all the musicians/ dancing in the streets/ drinking until the sun comes up/ waking up in the morning not in my own bed.

 I didn't take these.

All: the whole of

Today: Been spending a copious amount of time outside- lounging around, reading & eating avocados. The sun has decided to grace us (up here in the North West) with her presence. We all smile when the sun is out, it's beautiful, it's like our moods correlate with the weather and so with each other. We all feel compelled to go outside and enjoy the sun- while it lasts (because tomorrow it'll probably rain). I've been daydreaming a lot, my fantasies of traveling the world with close friends & lovers. I also got into a sort of kick about my childhood & nature's influence during that time. I even felt it necessary to write an essay about it... or more a ramble I suppose. Today has been refreshing.

Yesterday: Packing with a fresh new attitude about the good times that lay ahead in my soon-to-be new, temporary, house. Then went to give blood, but got differed for low iron. Next went to Raki's going away potluck at the new place; was fed a delicious meal filled mostly with fresh veggies out of the garden & with an accompaniment of wine and ice cream, mmm. Afterwords I met up with some other friends and we strolled to the Mad Hater Tea Party at Clyde's house (this was all very spontaneous, so I didn't have my camera along unfortunately). We really all did turn mad after about 10 cups of tea and the sugar high we were all riding from the chocolate colored strawberry's, tarts, "eat me" cakes, & sugar flowers. So incredibly lovely the entire evening was, really wish I had had my camera to permanently store all those wonderful smiles.

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.
Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. 
And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would."

Everyone is getting married and having babies

(Although it seems to be one or the other for some reason)

At this point I feel as though I am going to be single for the rest of my life; toying with men for a week or too and then getting bored with them. Have I not matured at all? I want to find someone to fall in love with- I really do. I think I just romanticize people; fantasizing about the what-could-be of our relationship, and when it becomes reality, I am disappointed by the actuality of it all. 

Photographs taken by Nan Goldin

Wish I'd met you sooner

Yesterday: a beautiful day in Southern Humboldt. Went to the Mateel's 34th annual Summer Arts & Music Festival; got a good dose of vitamin D. It's amazing how much sunnier the weather gets an hour south or inland from here (Arcata) where it truly exemplifies the meaning of "June gloom".

The festival was radical. I met so many interesting, beautiful people. With that being said, I also met a number of creepy men: complimenting leeches (I couldn't even begin to tell you how forward these men were).

I spent the hours of the night & day dancing, hula-hooping, trying on wicked clothes, checkin' out art, watching jugglers, gypsy's, groovy music and getting involved in plenty of fantastically delightful conversations with charismatic strangers.

I met a gang of dancy folks from the mid-west. We all became fast friends and danced the night away together. There was Greg, my favorite dance partner who I exchanged numbers with and poked fun at for being so sweaty (what I didn't tell him was that I found it extremely sexy on his shirtless, tan and fit body).

At one point in the festival I was aimlessly walking around and this lady grabs me and asks if she can paint my breasts to attract attention to her painting booth. I told her she could paint my face. This originally would have been a $20 face-paint job, so I definitely lucked out.

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures from the actual festival. This festival was filled with a plethora of hippies (REAL dirty hippies [whom I do enjoy, but you know...]), and I just didn't feel like having the responsibility of taking care of my camera- which is (to me) the equivalent of  having a child.

Hope your looking at life through your rose-colored glasses, 

Sandi Rae

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend

Coffee and the morning paper;

I will never break up with you.

This picture was taken by Allison Mosshart from The Kills on one of their tours.

Won't you fly with me?

 

This was taken while waiting in the car line before entering the Coachella Music Festival. We were all at a pretty much dead stop for a few hrs, creeping along slower than snails.

We found out that glass wasn't allowed to be brought into the festival so we had to drink an entire 24 case between the five of us. It wasn't too much of a problem, heh [;

 We ended up blasting Michael Jackson and having a good ol' time dancing and making friends with the plethora of eager Coachella attendees also waiting in line.

(I had a dream last night that inspired the title of this post and reminded me of this picture, so I thought it would be an appropriate post even though this photo is two months old)